WWE RAW Results (12/9/2013)

WWE RAW Opener:

WWE RAW begins with a special Slammy Awards opener. After that we shoot to ringside where it’s just Michael Cole and JBL, as Cole notes they will be joined by Jerry Lawler later tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Daniel Bryan’s music and out comes the local Washington native. Out next is Fandango and Summer Rae. We are told the first Slammy Award will be presented after this match. The bell rings and Bryan goes after Fandango immediately. The “Daniel Bryan” chants begin almost immediately. Fandango gains control of the offense in the match early on. Bryan begins his comeback with a ton of “Yes!” kicks as his home-state fans chant along. The crowd is insanely into Bryan here tonight in Seattle. Fandango goes out to the floor to recover at one point, but Bryan does his suicide dive through the ropes onto the dancing phenom. Bryan beats up Fandango on the floor a bit before throwing him back into the ring. Bryan goes to the top rope but Fandango catches him coming off into a powerbomb. Awesome. On that note, we head to a mid-match commercial. When we return from commercial, Bryan appears to be in the middle of a fiery comeback. Bryan does a bunch of “Yes!” kicks and actually badly misses the last shot, which oddly enough the production team shot a tight close-up of as it happened. The announcers spend the next 20-30 seconds trying to cover it up. Fandango cuts Bryan’s momentum off and is now back in control of the offense. Fandango heads to the top rope for his big leg-drop, but Bryan moves and Fandango misses. Bryan goes up top after that and hits a flying headbutt. Bryan calls for the running knee and he hits it. 1-2-3. Daniel Bryan wins.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

After The Match

The lights cut out and The Wyatt Family appears on the titantron. Bray cuts another Wyatt-style promo. He seems upset that Bryan hasn’t accepted his offer to join his family. Bray says if he doesn’t accept his offer, the story won’t have a happy ending. It will end the same way it started, with destruction. He promises to hurt Bryan and to prove that he is actually a monster just like him. He concludes by simply saying, “Join us. Join us, Bryan.” The lights go off, when they come back on, Bryan is leading the fans in a loud “No! No! No!” chant.

The Slammy Awards

WWE Hall Of Famers Booker T and Jerry “The King” Lawler, the hosts of tonight’s Slammy Awards, are introduced. They come out to the podium set up at the top of the stage and officially welcome us to the 2013 Slammy Awards. They encourage everyone to vote. Booker asks Lawler if he’s ever laughed out loud. With that said, they introduce the presenters for the LOL Moment of the Year: The New Age Outlaws.

Slammy Awards: LOL Moment of the Year

Out come Road Dogg and Billy Gunn in the same suits Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels wore in the movie, “Dumb & Dumber.” Awesome. Road Dogg cuts one of his old, fast-talkin’ D-X style of promos. Billy Gunn asks if Road Dogg is not gonna let him talk again this year. Road Dogg laughs and says he’s not very good at it. The crowd interupts them with a loud “one more match” chant. Road Dogg says Gunn’s line only consisted of a few words. They’ve got three words for us: “the nominees are …”

– Vickie Guerrero fired as RAW General Manager
– Titus O’Neil puking on everyone at the Thanksgiving special SmackDown
– Jinder Mahal & Great Khali attempt to “charm” Santino Marella’s “Cobra”
– The Rock’s “Rock concert” at the RAW 20th Anniversary special

We are told how to vote via the WWE App and then Santino Marella’s music hits. The winner of the LOL Moment of the Year will be announced after his match apparently. We head to commercial.

Vickie Guerrero screaches “Excuse Me” and comes out to the top of the stage. She was shown being dissed in the clips from “The Rock concert” so I guess since he’s not there, she accepts on his behalf. She talks about her outfit, grabs the award, and walks off. Yawn.

The Slammy Award goes to: The Rock’s “Rock concert” at the RAW 20th Anniversary special

Santino Marella vs. Damien Sandow

We head to the ring, where Santino is facing Damien Sandow in singles action. The WWE Intercontinental Champion Big E. Langston is out for commentary during the match. They talk on commentary about Langston defending his I-C title ths Sunday aganist Sandow. Meanwhile, Sandow is beating up Santino with ease in the ring. Sandow hits the “elbow of disdain” on Santino for a near fall. The crowd has a dueling chant going on right now, but I can’t quite make it out. Half of it is “Let’s go Sandow” but I can’t figure out what the other half of the crowd is saying. Santino is finally getting some comedy offense in now. He pulls out The Cobra, but Sandow trips him and nails him with the “You’re Welcome” finisher. 1-2-3. Damien Sandow wins.

Winner: Damien Sandow

After The Match

Langston leaves his spot at the announce desk and stands in Sandow’s face, proudly holding up his WWE Intercontinental Championship. Sandow backs off and walks back up the ramp as Langston poses for the crowd with his title.

Slammy Awards: Double-Cross of the Year

The Shield come out to present the “Double-Cross of the Year” Slammy Award. They come out in fancy suits. Ambrose starts by saying, “I know, I know. I look great.” He talks about winning two Slammy’s already at WWE.com. Seth Rollins talks a bit as does Roman Reigns. Reigns continues to talk but Ambrose interupts him. The crowd “oooh’s and ahhh’s.” The nominees are…

– Mark Henry’s retirement swerve
– Shawn Michaels costing Daniel Bryan the WWE Championship at Hell In A Cell
– Paul Heyman turning on CM Punk at Money In The Bank
– Triple H screws Daniel Bryan out of the WWE Championship at Money In The Bank

Shawn Michaels wins. He comes out to accept. HBK says he has a lot on his mind but he was told he can’t talk too long. He says he’s been fortunate to win a lot of Slammy’s over the years, but never for the Double-Cross of the Year. He says that’s ironic because he’s Double-Crossed a lot of people. The crowd starts a “you screwed Bret” chant, but HBK thought they said “you sold out” so he talks about how he sold out a long time ago and that’s why he’s still here. Umm, ok. Mark Henry was robbed.

The Slammy Award goes to: Shawn Michaels costing Daniel Bryan the WWE Championship at Hell In A Cell

Kofi Kinston vs. The Miz

Kofi Kingston’s music hits and he comes to the ring. Michael Cole plugs his match and the announcement of the winner of the Double-Cross of the Year as we head to a commercial. After the Slammy announcement, the bell rings and Kingston immediately goes to work on Miz. Kingston stomps away at Miz in the corner of the ring. Miz tries fighting back but Kingston lays him out with a big boot to the face. Kingston continues to beat up Miz more aggressively than he normally is in matches. Miz just avoids a Trouble In Paradise attempt by Kingston. He rolls out to the floor, smiles and walks away. Before he makes it to the back, Kingston cuts him off. Kingston slams Miz’s head into the barricade. Back in the ring, Miz rolls Kingston up out of nowhere and holds the tights during the pin. 1-2-3. Miz wins.

Winner: The Miz

After The Match

Miz is smiling and bragging about beating Kingston. He turns around and Kingston blasts Miz with a big Trouble In Paradise kick. An angry Kingston storms off following the kick.

Slammy Awards: Diva Of The Year

Former WWE Diva Eve Torres comes out to present the Diva of the Year award. Eve says it’s her pleasure to return to WWE to present this Slammy. She says whether you’re on team Total Divas or the AJ-led opposition, the Divas have had one heck of an exciting year. The nominees are…

– The Bella Twins
– The Funkadactyls
– Kaitlyn
– Natalya
– Eva Marie
– AJ Lee

The Bella Twins. Loud mixed-reaction which quickly turns to heavy boo’s as The Bella Twins make their way out. They say they are so honored. Nikki says “thank you for your love” as the crowd boo’s the hell out of them. Nikki tries to keep talking but she’s cut off by their own entrance music. Ouch.

The Slammy Award goes to: The Bella Twins